Vegetable Soup
by laurabryannan1
Summary: Jin wants something from Mugen and Mugen finally decides to do something about it. JinMugen yaoi. Sequel to The Morning Ritual and Musings. Originally posted Sep05.
1. Chapter 1

**Vegetable Soup**

by Laura Bryannan

_This story takes place after all my others, especially Musings. Please read that story first if you're a new reader. Thanks!_

The unfinished business between us was starting to get on my nerves. It was my turn to oil him up, so I figured that would be a good time to deal with it. Captive audience and all. He was stretched out on the mat, naked and kinda glowing in the dim light. I was gonna try and give him a good rubdown this time, since I usually rip him off. I get so horny massaging him I usually end up cutting it short and moving to the good stuff way sooner than he does for me. But life ain't fair and I guess that's what this is all about. I get all the goodies he's got and he's stuck with me.

I strip and get to work. I don't want to start talking to him until I've given him a decent once-over first. The more relaxed he is the more words come out of his mouth, so I want him _really_ relaxed before I start to pick his brains about this. When I've finally touched him everywhere at least once and he's Jin-quiet, I begin:

"So…how'd you end up with a virgin ass living as long as you did at the dojo?" He doesn't answer. Big surprise. "Hey," I insist. "If you want me to fuck you sometime, you gotta talk to me about it first."

He growls and stirs. "Mugen, must we talk? I don't want to think right now."

"Talk!" I demand, as I run my thumbs up his spine. "I can't see us having this conversation face to face, can you? Answer my question, dammit."

"Ask it again."

"How'd you end up with a virgin ass, Jin?"

He sighed. There was a long pause. "My master didn't ask that of me, and there was no one else who could," he finally said.

"You mean he asked nothing of you?" I thought that was weird.

"I didn't say that."

"Oh." Now I felt bad. Poor Jin. He still keeps his mouth to himself most of the time, even now. I wonder if he showed up at the dojo with that hang-up or if that's how he got that way.

"Did you like the guy?" I hope.

"I had the greatest respect for him."

"But you didn't want him? You didn't desire him?" He just sighed again. It pissed me off to think about it. Things might have been fucked up for me sometimes growing up, but at least I didn't have to give myself to anyone I didn't want to. OK, I got raped once and forced into some stuff then, but what happened to him was different. I didn't know much about all that bushido shit, but I had heard that everybody was somebody's uke. He got stuck in a system that turned him into a whore. That totally sucked!

"How old were you when he first came after you?" He didn't answer. Maybe I didn't want to know, and shook my head in disgust. _Enough of that shit_ _for now_, I had to tell myself. It was making me too angry to go on, and I didn't want to be feeling angry. I needed to do something to clear my head so I started sliding my whole body up his back. I liked feeling my belly on his ass and rubbing my cock in his crack. I started humping his tailbone and then I got an idea.

"Hey! I want you to shave me down here sometime," I announced.

"What?!?" He laughed. I was glad I got him to.

"You heard me. I bet it would feel really hot to have all the hair gone around my cock. It would be all slippery and slidey and sensitive. Would you do it if I asked you?"

"Mugen, you are completely insane." He was still chuckling. "But I'll do it if you want." It was really tempting to go get his razor now, sounding lots more fun than what I had in mind, but I decided not to distract myself. I'd been putting this conversation off for too long and wanted to get it over with. I started working his thighs.

"Let's talk about why I called you an idiot the other night, OK?" I could feel his body tense, but he didn't answer. Like Fuu says, talking to Jin is like talking to a rock sometimes. _"OK?"_ I asked again.

"I'm listening."

"So here I am, trying to figure out what the hell you're thinking when you ask me to fuck you. You can see what I'm packing here, and I've got a good pinky width on you in size. I know you've never had nothing but fingers in there, and I wonder to myself just what kind of experience you think you're gonna have if I go ahead and do what you want. You've got to know it's gonna hurt like a motherfucking bitch if I do it, and yet you still ask. So what's up with that, Jin?"

"Pain isn't an issue," he said.

I felt myself getting angry again, flaring up like a fire in my guts. I grabbed hold of his hipbone, flipped him over and got right in his face. "It damn well _is_ the issue, you asshole!" I yelled. "Is that what you want? Is that what this is all about? You want me to hurt you, Jin? Is that what you want me to do to you? You got some fucked-up need for pain I'm just now learning about? Are you some kind of secret uke who's been waiting till now to spring it on me?"

I'd been _so_ afraid to ask him these questions, but as I ranted I could see a look of horror start to creep onto his face. I obviously got it wrong, thank god. The relief I felt washed all the anger away. I collapsed and lay my head on his chest, trying to stop shaking. His put his arms around me and I could feel him take a deep breath.

"Your response makes sense to me now," he said softly. "I wasn't thinking things through. I see what happens to you when I fuck you and…well…I naturally want some of that too."

"You ever spend five seconds wondering why it's so good for me, Jin?" I asked. "You ever wonder why my ass is busted open and I've got no gag reflex?" I felt him tense again, but he didn't say anything, so I just went on. "I got trained to it, OK? I can't remember when someone wasn't sticking something down my throat or up my ass. Something like that happens to you and first you endure it, but if it happens enough times eventually you get to liking it, I guess. You get to wanting it."

His arms tightened around me. "Ah, Mugen," he murmured. "I'm sorry. I really _am_ an idiot." He grabbed a hunk of my hair and pulled me up into a kiss. He initiates kissing so rarely it knocks me on my ass every time he does, and he's got hold of my hair in a way that melts me into a uke puddle. I was so relieved my fears were off base, it felt like a huge weight was off my chest. When we came up for air I was feeling really good.

"You know." I decided to be honest. "I never liked anyone I ever fucked. I didn't fuck that many guys, but the ones I did, I did it _to_ hurt them."

"That makes two of us," he admitted. "Most of my lovers preferred sucking over fucking, but if the most effective way to assert my authority over a difficult student was to fuck him, I did it. I have come to realize, in retrospect, that I abused my authority at times."

I just nodded. I'd never heard him say so much at one time and I didn't want him to stop.

"But I wasn't alive in those days." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Yuki said…um…that was his name…the one I killed. Yukimaru."

He went off into his head for a little while and I waited til he came back.

"Yes. Well, Yuki once said,_ 'Sometimes you look at me and your eyes become cold and flat like a fish. And when you look at me with those eyes I know you're going to ask something very hard of me and all you will do is observe. I'll get nothing back from you but your cold flat eyes_.'

I found myself shuddering. I knew the look! I'd seen it before. I felt deliciously freaked out. Delicious only cuz it was over. At the time, oh man…. "I've seen it," I whispered.

He opened his eyes and looked at me apprehensively.

"It was the first time you fucked me," I continued. "You were sitting next to me and you had some fingers inside and I was feeling really good and then all of a sudden my blood ran cold. I felt this intense foreboding, so I listened but I couldn't hear anything wrong in the room or outside, and I couldn't tell what was up. So I opened my eyes and saw your face. You were looking at me with those kinda eyes he was talking about, and I got really freaked. Holy shit! I totally forgot about that until you said what he said! But I know at some point I stopped feeling scared, and I remember it being a really hot time, that first time."

He had a funny look on his face, almost like his eyes were gonna go flat again. "I had forgotten as well, but I do remember," he said quietly. "Your instincts are amazing, Mugen. Would you like to know what I was thinking at the time?"

I did. I told him so.

"I remember watching you respond to what I was doing and wondering what would happen if I put my fist inside you. I was trying to decide whether I should do it or not—what the ramifications would be if I did. Obviously, I decided not to. Are you disappointed?"

"No way!" I wasn't lying. I was really glad he didn't do it, but the _idea_ of him doing it was blowing my little mind. It made me so fucking hot I moaned and curled up into a ball with my back to him and lost control of my fantasies for a while. I hugged my knees and let the images flash through my head.

He spooned up to my back and put his arm around me. "Are you all right?" he asked.

I tried to pull my shit together so I could talk. "Thanks for the jack off material," I finally managed to say. "Look, thinking about you doing that makes me melt. Fuckin' A it makes me hot! But I ain't a size queen, man. I'm not into pain like that. I can totally get off on the idea, but I wouldn't want it to happen in real life. Why do you think I was such a goner that first time we were together? You've got the perfect kinda cock for fucking. I knew the second I saw it where I wanted it to go. If I was hung like you I'd fuck you in a second. Too bad for you you're stuck with a lover hung like me instead of like yourself. There ain't nuthin' gonna change that situation. Life sucks sometimes, huh?"

"Would you rather I was hung like you?" he asked as he started to stroke me.

"No sir. Look…I could take it…but it wouldn't…be anywhere…near as fun."

He stopped for a moment to let me finish.

"It would be something to endure. I want to be done enduring stuff."

"Mmmm," he sighed into my hair. "I agree. No more enduring." He returned to stroking me and I was too far gone to stop him. I couldn't keep images of him fisting me out of my head and I was totally mushing out. "You want me to fuck you?" he whispered in my ear.

"No, I wanna suck you off after. Just make me cum now, K?" I'd been feeling horny too long and couldn't think straight anymore. You never know with Jin whether he's gonna let you cum fast or make you wait, but hot damn he let me cum fast then. I lay there for a while after, enjoying the feel of him wrapped around me, but I didn't want to get too snoozy cuz I had plans.

I finally sat up and turned to kiss him a while, then I started to work my way down his body. We both have really sensitive nips and we both hate that fact about ourselves. I don't know about him, but it's just too embarrassing to find my body responding to that kind of attention. Makes me feel like a girl, and I don't like it. I attack him there, of course, cuz I love what he does when I do. He jerks, he moans, his breath catches—it's really hot. It's never long before he starts trying to push me away, though, and today is no different.

"Mugennnnn," he growled. "For god's sake…stop it!" I bit one just to hear him gasp then let him push my head lower. I go down on him a bit to get him all warmed up and then I stopped and reached for the oil. He opened his eyes in time to see me do it, looked at me warily but didn't say anything. I held my hand up, my fingers dripping oil on his belly.

"You invited me inside you the other day. That invitation still stand?" I could feel him shudder but he said yes, and closed his eyes. I touched him on the outside, gently teasing until I could tell he was relaxed again, then slid my middle finger in. He was tight all right. It was a good thing I came already cuz it was making my head swim to touch him that way. I started slowly fucking him with my finger to loosen him up, and he was going "unh unh unh" in time to my thrusts. Oh man, I was really loving it! So fucking hot!

"You ready for another?" I asked, not really expecting him to answer and he didn't. He just kept responding to what I'm doing, which made me smile as I worked another finger inside. That time he winced, but I knew it couldn't be too bad, so I didn't worry. And then I could really get to that place that feels so good when someone touches it—like someone working your cock from the inside.

Meat Puppet. I heard it called that once. Kinda crude but you gotta admit that's what it's like. You've got your fingers inside someone and you move them one way and the body jerks, you move them another the body moans. Their body is dancing to your tune and it makes you feel so fucking powerful! I just played in there, watching his responses to the different things I tried, totally getting off on how I was finally able to do that to him. He was panting and writhing and looking really really hot.

After a while I felt him rouse himself from wherever he was. "Mugen," he gasped. "Please don't…ahh…stare at me…ungh…when you're doing thAAAAt!"

"You mean this?" I did it again.

He gasped, groaned, then started to growl. "Muuuugennnnn, do something. I can't stand it."

"Hmmm. How about if I slow down some?" I stopped attacking him in there so intensely and stroked more gentle.

"Noooooo," he moaned. "Please don't slow down. Finish it!"

"But I don't want to finish it yet. I'm having too much fun." He groaned. I got an idea. I only offered it cuz I knew he wouldn't do it, but if he did I wouldn't complain.

"You finish it. Jack off for me," I proposed.

His hand actually came up. It got within a few inches of his cock, then stopped and went no further. He growled again, then his arms came up and he hid his face behind them. "You shit," he said in a muffled voice. "You know I won't do that."

It was so fucking funny he was doing what he always bugs me about, I laughed out loud. "Feeling overwhelmed, are we?" I said in the same snooty way he always says it to me. He just growled at me some more. _Enough of that shit_, I said to myself, and started working him inside again so he was arching his back and moaning instead of growling.

"Mercy…Mugen," he managed to spit out, and I finally decided to take pity on him. I took him in my mouth and administered the sovereign remedy. His moans were happy ones then, and that felt good to me too. The song he sang when he finally came was really sweet, and he felt mine in a way he never felt before. I liked it, I liked it. I felt his fingers in my hair and he grabbed me in that way again.

"Come here, you," he demanded, and I flopped full length on top of him, really happy he was kissing me again. It was good. After, I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I wanted to do that the first time we were together. How come you didn't let me?" I asked.

"I don't put out the first time." He made a joke! I couldn't fucking believe it. I sat up to look at him and he was doing his I'm-not-smiling smile. That time I started the kiss, then I sat back and decided to tackle that last sticky issue.

"So, my virgin lover, that was _really_ hot, and now that you've let me in there, don't think you can kick me out again. But we're still no closer to me fucking you, sorry to say. I can stretch you on the outside with my fingers, but I can't get to the second set of muscles that way, so I'm at a loss…"

"Second set?" he asked.

"Well, yeah. Haven't you noticed that there's two sets of muscles in there? The ones on the outside are usually easy to stretch with a little work. But the second set, a little ways inside, they're harder to get at. My knuckles get in the way, and I can't get my fingers inside enough to stretch 'em out. Those are the muscles that really fuck you up if they get bruised or stretched too fast, believe you me. The pain doesn't stop when the cock is gone. It hurts for hours and hours after."

My body trembled involuntarily remembering some very unhappy experiences. He noticed and pulled me back down to his chest. "Why do you want me to fuck you, Jin?" I whispered.

He didn't answer right away. "I'm not sure. Maybe to keep things balanced between us. Maybe just to see if I can do it. You spoke earlier about things being hot to think about, but not necessarily to actually do. Maybe this should fall into that category, but I do find it hot to think about and so…." He sighed.

I felt flattered. I liked knowing he thought about me—that it made him hot to think about me doing something like _that_ to him. Jin is the most wierdass seme I've ever been with. He's always giving me stuff, instead of always taking. I figure if he wants to give me his ass, I'm sure as hell gonna try and find a way to take it. I will most definitely find a way….

to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

**Vegetable Soup II**

by Laura Bryannan

So here we are in the house we've rented. It's very small, but it's got it's own hearth, a table, and two whole rooms, so it seems like a palace to us. The village is OK too, and we've all found some work so none of us have been in a hurry to leave. Fuu's been talking about making a stew or something, cuz there was a cauldron left in the hearth and she got it all cleaned up. It'_s_ fun to see her all housewifey and stuff, so I told her I'd meet her in the market after work and help her lug food back to cook. I stopped to take a leak on the way, so she went up ahead. As I walk up to the door I bump into Jin who's backing out for some damn reason.

"Hey, watch it!" I call. He mumbles something, giving me a quick look before taking off, and I stare after him with my mouth hanging open. He's totally blushing! I've never seen him so red. You'd think with his fair skin, Jin would blush every second, but he doesn't. He hardly blushes at all. In fact, I don't think I've _ever_ seen him blush like this before.

I'm torn. I want to go after him but I've got an armful of food, so I decide to dump my share of the vegetables and try to find out what's up. I go inside and put what I'm carrying on the table. The stuff Fuu had was scattered all over and then I understand. I blush too—at least, I felt like I did.

There on the table with all the other food were three of those long green veggie things. I don't know what they are—squashes, cukes, who cares? They look really obscene, no wonder Jin was freaked out. Even though my head is starting to swim and my cock is starting to twitch, I try to keep thinking. I check 'em all out. Two are too thick but one is perfect, it looks like a longer version of him, actually. Fuu turns to the hearth and starts poking at the fire she's gotten started, so I grab the good one, shove it up my shirt and get the hell outta there before she sees me.

"Mugen, will you bring water now please?" she yells.

"Yeah, yeah," I yell back and scramble to find a place to put the thing so it won't rot on me before I have a chance to use it. I find somewhere cool and hide it, then head to the spring. I need time to think before I hunt him down anyway. I bring her the water and ask if she wants me to help her chop 'n stuff.

"Oh no, you go on. I love to cook and I haven't had a chance to in a long time. Go away. It will be ready later tonight," she insists, so I let her shove me out the door. I try to find him but we've only been here a few days and I don't know the area yet, so I've got no idea where he might be hiding. I hit the spring again hoping he's taking a bath, but he's not there, then wander around for a while before heading back. I find his whetstone and decide to sharpen my sword outside the door and wait for him, figuring he isn't gonna take off all night cuz he knows Fuu is cooking something. I finally hear him coming down the road, and I look up when he stops in front of me.

"I've told my employer I won't be in tomorrow," he says quietly.

"Good," I answer. He nods slightly and walks into the house. I smile to myself and stop what I'm doing. My hands are shaking too much and I don't want to fuck up my sword.

"Soup's on!" Fuu yells from inside the house. I take a deep breath, pull my gi around me to hide my hard-on and go in to eat.

XXXXXXXX

When I wake up they're both gone. I'm not surprised. They're both always asleep before me and awake before me. One of the best things in my life now is being able to watch Jin and Fuu sleep. Fuu looks like she's a little kid and Jin—well he looks like an angel. The frown that's always on his face when he's awake is gone when he's asleep, so he looks fucking beautiful. I sit up at night and watch them both, and ask whoever's listening to keep them safe—to keep us together.

Well anyway, he's gone now but I know he'll be back soon. He's never stood me up when we agree to blow off work and have the day together. I run and get The Thing and put it on the futon. I want to see if he'll blush again—I just can't help myself. I pace for awhile and then I hear the door slide open in the outer room. He walks in, sees our new toy and he _does_ blush again. I feel triumphant!

He slowly sinks to his knees next to it. "Ah Mugen, I don't know if I can do this," he says as he shakes his head. "It's too…humiliating. The idea of _that_…there." He groans and puts his face in his hands.

"I'll split. You can do it alone," I say, not that I think he'll go for it. He shakes his head again, sighing this time, his hands falling to his lap.

"No, I'm not going to fight against my training. I want you here anyway." He gave me such a smoldering look my stomach did a flip, but then he turned back to the cuke. He just stared and stared, and I started to feel him go away, off into his head. He seemed totally mesmerized by the sight of it lying there, and I was kicking myself in the ass for doing that to him—for shoving it in his face like that just to embarrass him. I finally move it out of his line of sight, kneel behind him and start rubbing his shoulders.

"Hey, don't go away," I say. "We don't have to use it. We don't have to do anything different today." He's still stuck, so I pull his face up into a kiss, and after a while I feel him start to come back. What a relief! When he's really responding to me I stop, drag him onto the futon and we get all his damn clothes off. Then I shuck my own, sit on his hips and start kissing him again. I'm not sure my tried and true way to get him horny will work after I fucked up so bad and freaked him out, but it does, thank god. I kiss him til we're both moaning. And when his hands start kneading my ass and he grinds his cock into my own, I feel like he's ready for more.

I get off him, pass by my usual play spots and head straight for his ass. He's got no cheeks to speak of, but what's there I spread and make room to get my tongue in. He practically squeaks when I do and I couldn't keep from laughing, it sounded so…well, un-Jin like. I tease and slurp and nip and play, kinda amazed at myself that I haven't done this to him much before. It takes a little while before the tension in his legs and belly ease off and he starts to melt, but soon he's sighing and moaning. Sweet! I want him totally focused here, on how good it can feel to have someone paying attention to this very sensitive place.

I reach for the oil and back away a bit, tickling him with my fingers now instead of my tongue, and he doesn't even tense. I realize if I'm going to pull this off I need to move, so I reposition myself between his legs and lay my head on his belly. I have this feeling I need to keep my eyes off his face—that it will be easier for him if I don't look at him. So I slide my arm around his waist and keep his cock company while I slip two fingers inside. He moans and arches into my hand. I purr. This is good. I could spend all day doing this to him it makes me so hot.

Every time we get together I'm blown away by how Jin lets himself respond to me. He's silent as stone when he's vertical, but when I get him horizontal he doesn't hold back at all. He's really vocal and it's totally gratifying. Anyway, he's getting pretty vocal at this point. Maybe it's because I've got three fingers in him now and he's still having a good time. His cock is drooling all over his belly and I figure it's now or never. I slide my fingers out, grab a handful of oil and slather the cuke, pressing it into him real slow.

"It sounds strange," I whisper, "but if you try to push it out, it will go in easier." He takes a deep breath and we manage to get an inch or so in before I feel him tense. I stop and brace it against my knee. "I'm not gonna push anymore. You need to…um…climb onto it yourself now, OK? I'll just hold it here."

He grabs my head and directs me to suck on him. I'm happy to do it, but I don't think it's gonna help him much. That kind of thing always makes _me_ clench inside, which can work against what we're trying to do, but I figure it's his call. I get to work, and after a little while he grunts, breaks into a sweat and loses his hard-on.

I stop what I'm doing and raise my head. "Hey, slow down." I look at his face for the first time since we started and he opens his eyes and gives me a wry smile. I stroke his thighs and give his knee a smooch. "There's no reason to hurry. Take it easy on yourself, K?"

"OK," he whispers, closing his eyes as I keep stroking what I can reach, not surprised he doesn't ask me to go down on him again.

"If you can get past these muscles, I promise it will feel great. It will be worth it," I say. He's motionless for quite some time. Then he takes a long deep breath and I can feel him trying again. I get worried cuz he seems to be moving too fast, but all of a sudden it's in! I can tell cuz his eyes open wide and he gasps.

"Hot damn!" I crow, "You did it!" He looks at me with the greatest expression. A I-can't-believe-you-were-right-it-does-feel-better-and-I-think-you're-hot expression. I've seen the look of lust in mens' faces my entire life, but he's looking at me like he likes me, like he's happy we got here together. No one I had a thing for in the past ever looked at me like that. I want to memorize everything about this moment. I can't believe I'm doing this to him—that he wanted me to do it—and that he's getting off on it so much. I've never done it before, I've never been inside a seme of mine in any way. I never got invited to and I never expected to be. Getting fucked was always my job.

So here I am fucking the best thing that's ever happened in my life and he's glad about it! It's just too goddamn amazing. We're looking at each other and I feel myself choke up for a second, I'm so blown away by his expression and the feelings he's giving off. I figure if he's happy now he's only gonna get happier. That gets me really excited.

"You look like you're sitting on the biggest secret," he says.

I raise my eyebrows. "Oh, I am," I smile. I've been waiting for his body to get used to everything so I can do what I want to do next, and it feels so _wicked_ to be doing it I'm shivering. "I want to show you why I beg you for everything you've got. You ready?" He nods. I grab hold of the last few inches of the cuke, look him straight in the eye, and push it in nice and slow. He starts singing after the first inch, but I've got four or five to go before the cuke gets to his own length. By the time I get it all in, his back is arched, he's hugging himself and he's _really_ singing.

Oh man, I'm dying, it makes me so hot. When he gets all of himself inside me it feels like he's fucking my heart or something, so I want him to feel like that too. I slowly stroke the last few inches into him just like he does to me, and he's moaning in time to my thrusts. One thing about a cuke, I realize, is that it's never gonna cum. I could do this to him all day and never lose my hard-on, so to speak. It seems so fucking perverted I love it. I make bets with myself how long I can keep doing this before he starts begging me to bring him off.

I start pulling it further out of him now—as far as I can without going past those muscles. I slowly stroke it in him and I get hypnotized by the sight. My own need to cum is getting pretty intense at this point. Watching it move in and out, hearing his responses, I'm so goddamn horny I can hardly breathe. I'm so into what I'm doing, I don't notice he's rousing.

"M-Mugen," he gasps. "Stop. Stop…or I'm going to cum."

"That's the idea, huh?" I slow down some, but I don't want to stop.

"No, no. Stop dammit!" He grabs my hair. He's got to yank it pretty hard to get me to pay attention, so it hurts and I yelp.

He's up on his elbow, panting, looking at me with his eyes on fire. "Fuck me," he demands. That knocks me on my ass. I'm speechless. I just stare at him with my mouth open. "Fuck me, Mugen," he repeats.

I can't believe this is happening—I can't believe what just came out of his mouth, but I try to think. I know I'm not gonna push myself into him, so I lay down on my back, mostly in a trance. "That thing's only opened you up part way, but if you can get me inside you, I'll fuck your goddam brains out…if I can manage to stay hard that long."

He oils me up and straddles my hips, pulls out the cuke and starts trying to impale himself. He gets an inch or so in and then meets that inner barrier. I can feel it, so fucking tight against the head of my cock. I don't really know if I can keep from cumming long enough for him to do this, or if he can manage to get me in at all. I can only grit my teeth and hope for the best, I guess.

He leans forward and settles himself on top of me. I can feel him breathing against my hair. Then it was the coolest thing. His body went all limp and he got completely still. I can't think of any other way to describe it. His entire being got totally quiet. His breathing was so deep and slow I could barely sense it but, at every exhale, he swallowed me a little bit more. It was excruciating, I tell ya. It took every ounce of my willpower not to grab his hips and ram myself inside him I was so fucking horny.

Then I start to realize I'm getting freaked out. I never fucked a guy I cared about in my life. If I had a ryu for every time I heard, "You ain't getting that thing anywhere near _my_ ass, Mugen," I'd be rich. Women take one look and they're all over me, but guys, never, except for a few dipshits I couldn't stand anyway. I don't know what to do with how I feel. Jin's got power over me like no one I've ever been with, and here he is working—and succeeding, it feels like—to get my cock up his ass. I'm confused. I'm blown away. I'm scared. I'm feeling so happy I want to jump up and down and yell, so it's really hard to just lay there and let him work.

My head is swimming with all these competing thoughts, and the tightness of his ass around me is making me need to think of horrible things so I won't cum, it's so intense. Then, all of a sudden, I feel a pop and the pressure eases. I'm in! He fucking did it! He moans and I laugh. I can't get that this is really happening. I can feel him slowly reanimate his body, then he raises himself up on his hands, smiles at me, and slides me all the way in. I scream it feels so good. He lies back on my chest again, but now he's trembling, so I put my arms around him and hug him close. I can feel his body getting used to me being in there, and every sensation is blowing my mind. I'm gonna lose it real soon, especially now that he's started to move on me.

"I'm close," I warn him. "Can't hold out much longer."

"Me too," he pants. "Don't worry." I hold onto his hips and rise to meet him as he grinds into me. Somewhere in my head it dawns on me I should help him out, so I grab his cock. He cums a few seconds later, and that sets me off too. I cum deep inside him and it feels sooo good, and makes me feel so close to him. I can't believe he wanted to do this so bad he went through what he went through to do it. I can't believe he wanted me that much.

My heart is so mushed out I fucking start to cry. Goddammit! I put my arm over my face so he won't see, I feel like such a wuss. I feel like he'll despise me if he knows. He pulls my arm away and leans in to catch a few tears with his tongue, then kisses me long and hard. After, he lays back down on my chest.

"I love you, too," he whispers.

Man, that doesn't make it any better. I really start crying then. I cry my fucking ass off. He slides his arms around my shoulders and holds me as I sob like a goddamn woman. I don't even know why I'm crying, but it takes a long time before I can make myself stop. When I finally do he's still there, he's still holding me. I can feel that he's with me—that he's witnessing but not judging me at all—and something deep inside me exhales in relief. He raises his head and kisses me again, and I cling to him like a drowning man. I don't let him go for a long time, and he doesn't try to shove me away.

When I feel mostly normal I push him back so I can look at his face. "Sorry I lost it. You must think I'm a wuss."

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "Mugen, you are the farthest thing from a wuss I have ever known." After a few moments, he adds softly, "I was very touched. Thank you." He's looking at me in that I-like-you way again and I try to let myself believe it. I try to ignore the voices that tell me the good stuff is for everyone else, but not for me. "We'll do it again tomorrow," he decides.

_Say what? _"Yeah right! You're fucking crazy!" I laugh, maybe a little hysterically. He did _not_ just say that! I'm freaking out again.

He gives me a puzzled look. "Is that a no?" he asks.

"Well yeah…I mean no…I mean I can't believe you want to. You don't really, right?" I'm totally confused. "No guy wants me to fuck him. No one wants my cock in them."

"I do." He looks like he finds me amusing.

"Why, goddammit?" I still can't figure this out.

"Because I liked it. It was the most amazing feeling I've ever experienced and I would like to feel it again. And since I don't want to lose the ground we've gained, I want to do it again soon. Do you understand now?"

"But no one likes me fucking them," I insist. I'm just dense I guess.

"Mugen, where is this written in parchment? Can't I have my own experience?" he asks, and then with more force, "I want you to fuck me again tomorrow and if you don't I'll kick your skinny ass across the room and back. Do you understand _that?_"

That I understand.

"OK, OK, if you insist. But you're the one with the skinny ass." He slugs my shoulder. It doesn't hurt. I still can't fucking believe it, but I'm secretly happy as all get-out. Maybe, just maybe, I could learn to live with this.

"But now," he says, wincing, "if I don't get up, I fear my knees will never unbend again." He falls over on his side on the futon and groans as he stretches his legs out. I realize my back is kinda aching too, so I sit up and stretch, and wait for him to get the blood flowing in his legs again. He's on his back, and I lean over to kiss him, a soft and quiet one this time. We're both wiped on our asses. When we stop, he grabs my hand and turns on his other side, pulling me into a spoon against his back the way we both like.

"Think we have time for a snooze?" I ask.

"Mmmm," is his response. I feel his body relaxing and his mind taking off, take that for a yes and let myself drift away too. He said he loved me. I know I love him too. Maybe I'll even be able to say it out loud one day. Sometimes life is really good.

end


End file.
